Friday, 24 June 2011

Pacman is the spawn of Satan. Yeah I said it.

I got off the bus this morning and the first thing I wanted to do was drop to my knees and kiss the ground for making it out in one piece. People responsible for public transportation should not be allowed to relive their failed childhood dreams of becoming F1 drivers.

I wish they taught us to play Pacman at school. I could really have used the practice. I played all day and I still suck at it. My coworker preferred Angry Birds on her laptop. Would it be unethical if I downloaded Chrome just to play Angry Birds at work?

My Hindi was insulted by a woman at work yesterday who suggested I should switch back to speaking in English since I spoke so slowly in Hindi. I've been pretty proud of my Hindi in recent times so that was a complete slap in the face.

I am such an office klutz. There are these long dangly things on the doorway near the boss's cabin. They look eclectic and pretty and all but every time I walk through that doorway, I get my hair entangled in them. Every single time. And then I have to struggle to disentangle myself trying not to look like a complete idiot all the while hoping my boss or her son don't notice.

And today after I had a serious grown up office talk with my boss's son, I walked into the door on my way out of the room.

I need to carry this bag as a warning to everybody around me.

And you need to listen to this song. (Courtesy Bones)

You're welcome.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Really? REALLY? Really.

Oh look. I'm just going to blog twice in one day 'cause

Okay so I'm a sucker for tacky songs (I'm South Indian but I don't know what they're saying okay?), terrible (you say terrible, I say hilarious) movies and cheesy reality shows (even I stopped watching that one two years ago).

Judging by the very first episode of Just Dance I watched last night, I'll have to add another reality show to my must-watch list. I love watching dance shows (I'm an award show junkie just because they have so many people dancing *hides face*) and I also love Farah Khan (she's my imaginary best friend). Put those two together and you know I'm going to be glued to the TV every weekend.

That show made me laugh so hard that I'd have choked on Pepsi had I been consuming any.

Star moment of the show no. 1 (See? I'm plugging the channel also. They should just give me a job there. Preferably as Farah Khan's gal pal)
A nineteen year old guy with a medium-sized tummy came onstage with a (in Farah's words) Wonder Woman star on his forehead and started belly dancing. YES. What was truly scary was that he actually could shake what his momma gave him. Just a little bit.

Star moment of the show no. 2
A person who looked very much like an engineering student (how many of you have I offended?) came onstage and touched all four feet of the two Hritik Roshan cutouts that were behind him. He then talked about how much he looked forward to unleashing his inner crazy while dancing and went on to do exactly that.

Star moment of the show no. 3
A guy walked in, said "I love you so much ma'm" to a horrified Farah, gave her a melted Dairy Milk bar ("Oh it melted! You're so hot, the chocolate melted.") and when asked his name said "Ashish. Naam toh suna hi hoga." Her reaction? "Why do my fans have to be the crazy ones?"

What I don't like about this show is the ludicrous amount of fakeness they expect us to digest and the elevated sense of superstardom they've thrust on Hritik Roshan. Getting to meet him is supposedly the specialest of special moments in every single person's life. If the contestants qualify, they get a bracelet with the initials HR - which made me roll my eyes three separate times. And they refer to him being godlike on multiple occasions. God of dance this, god of dance that - oh SHUT UP.

What I like is watching fellow rhythmically challenged people on this show. Hey at least I don't showoff my lack of dancing skills on national television.

Friday, 17 June 2011

This post is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Me and my workmate had a gigantic pile of work which made me just want to mentally slap everybody across their faces. But instead I chose to laugh hysterically at honking cars, squawking parrots and my grumpy co-worker. She very seriously thought that the stress had broken my brain (I was kind of afraid of that myself) and very helpfully called me a freak.

And then right in the middle of this very important thing that we had been working on for a very long time which seemed to be magically multiplying because it didn't seem to be getting over at all and was slowly but surely driving us both bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S), this happens

Where is the K3G love I ask you? Do you know how unbelievably hilarious Shah Rukh and Kajol were in that movie? It would have been an instant stress buster! But no, I'm a strange person.

It's okay though because she gives me chocolate and thinks I'm thin.

In Harry Potter related news, you have to watch this or your life will remain meaningless (much as mine has become since I found out they've cancelled Sub of the Day at Subway and now charge for the cheese).

Has your mind been sufficiently blown?

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

"Life is filled with ups and downs but most of the time I'm going sideways."

I don't understand why there aren't more ghosts in the world. When I die I very seriously plan on haunting everybody I know. Also people I don't know. And Abhishek Bachchan.

No, really. I could come back from the dead and help fight crime. I could be some sort of supernatural superhero. Or I could work with a hot cop partner. I would totally watch that show.

I've decided I'm just going to like every single person who has big feet. Do you realize how emotionally traumatizing it is to shop for shoes that size? I had to have my mine ordered. Specially ordered!

I think buses defy all kinds of logic by being early when I'm late and then refusing to turn up for an hour when I'm early. But they've been behaving themselves lately so I'm not going to boycott them.

You know we should just give up buses altogether. Just hire jet planes. I used to make ones made of paper at my previous workplace. We used to toss them across our desks. One of them accidentally hit my boss. She just asked us to aim better and spent the better part of the morning ducking.

Using shall in a sentence makes me feel fancy. I shall now eat croissants and drink tea. I like coffee but it isn't as fancy as tea. Only the masses drink coffee. The classes drink tea. I want to end this with a rhyme but I won't. (We shall see.)

I make up random nonsensical poetry in the bus because I have nothing to do. But then I forget them all by the time I get home. (Boo.)

Why is it smartypants and not smartyhat? The head is where the smart is no? (Drat!)

I don't know how to get out of this loop de loop I've created. (A monster! A monster!) [I don't know why I said that] {How many brackets can I get away with?} /Does this count as a bracket?\

So I'm just going to end with this.

I used to love this show!

Thursday, 9 June 2011

"Parents should come with instructions."

You know those friends who don't talk for ages and then meet randomly and feel like they've never been apart? That's the kind of relationship my blog and me share. So even if the last time I talked to it (I don't know whether my blog is a girl or a boy. What do you think?) was last Christmas, I'm still its friend. But not that kind of friend it could call at 11 p.m. because I would be sleeping. Why is going to sleep early socially frowned upon? I like sleeping early. People who don't get enough sleep are always grumpy.

I'm done with college. Convocation's in a couple of months. I have a full time job. I almost feel like a grown-up. But then I pop virtual balloons and sing Bohemian Rhapsody with my workmates and that scary feeling goes away. This one girl at work can sing the lyrics to Baby Got Back at warp speed. I seriously think she has superpowers.

I'm also thinking about starting a book review blog. Then I can ignore two blogs instead of one. I went to Landmark to get my friend earphones for his birthday and ended up buying two books instead. I'm a bad friend but I'm a pretty good bookworm.

I've also been reading comics (people really are cool no?), tumblrs (the name makes me want to have a tea party and speak in a British accent) and watching videos about schools being built from plastic bottles. I feel guilty about the extra long vacation from my blog so I'm dumping a whole bunch of cool links to make you happy. Okay?

They're not very hard to find, these nice people. They're all around you. Today's nice-people-around-me edition brings to you the two people who started following my blog even though the last post was so many months old and ended up making me feel like I had to write a new post. Thank you nice people because I didn't realize how much I missed my blog.

Thanks to work, I've been reading these adorable little quotes by kids on random topics. I'm just going to make their quotes my post titles from now on.

My mom doesn't believe in pressure cookers. My mental problems are hereditary, I'm telling you.

And before I go, will somebody please explain the point of LinkedIn? I don't understand it only.

It's 12.10 a.m. and I'm still up. Do you feel special now Mister (Miss?) Blog?