Wednesday, 30 December 2009

The Customary End-of-the-year Post

*Long post alert*

Ok so it's not customary for me since I've never done this before; but this year I really wanted to write a post reminiscing over the last 12 months. Yes it's the epitome of a cliché and no that's not going to stop me from doing it anyway. So if this isn't your thing, I have loads of other fabulous posts on my very irregularly updated blog.

To start off with, all the negatives this year has thrown at me:
*I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years and in the process probably lost one of my best friends.

*For the first time in my entire life, I was failed (yes, on purpose) in something. I never fail. I'm not the KT kind of girl. In school, we had this atrocious subject called Needlework where we were required to knit booties which I never got around to doing 'cause I'm not the knitting kind of girl either and I still wasn't failed in that. And I failed Culture Studies. Just because that idiotic vindictive little woman took a Harry Potter quote personally and thought I was out to insult her. Never have I been treated so unfairly and never have I hated anyone with a passion like this. But hopefully *fingers crossed* it's all going to get sorted out.

*I realized that I care too much about what people think of me. And not just people I care about but anyone. Everyone. Random people, friends, family. Everyone. I guess I always knew that but the full realization came recently and it's not a good trait to have. I tried not to care so much and failed miserably. I just can't stop taking things personally and I destest being disliked. I wish I had the I-don't-care-what-anyone-thinks attitude, I really do but *shrugs* maybe next year?

*Some more realizations? I'm too picky when it comes to making friends. Real friends. Very few people manage to pass the muster with me. My expectations are much too high. Must work on that.

*I make a terrible leader.

*I'm too nice. Hence, very easily taken advantage of. I also feel guilty when I shouldn't. I think both these are linked to the must-be-liked syndrome.

*I've read and written a lot less than I would have liked to, especially recently. Adding to the Things To Do Next Year list. Check.

And now moving on to the positives:
*I like going to college. Yes. Gasp. After a year and a half of hating the very thought of going to that god awful place every single day, I have actually started to enjoy college.

*I talk to a lot more people in my class now than I ever did before. And I've realized that most of them are pretty cool. Thank you Blitzkrieg.

*Blitzkrieg. I can't wait. It's so much better this year. Last year it didn't feel like our festival, it felt like their festival. But this year it is definitely ours. I feel so much more involved. It feels great :)

*I've become much more social this semester. Gone are my anti-social fits and refusal of company any more than was needed. Well almost anyway.

*So many new experiences. I traveled. To Rajasthan. One of my dream destinations. And even though it wasn't the backpacking trip I've always wanted, it was great.

*I can officially say I've lived in a haunted hotel and it won't just be wishful thinking. I might have had a supernatural experience myself, but that I'm blaming on faulty plumbing thankyouverymuch.

*I sat on a camel. His name was Michael Jackson and he was awesome. The camel behind me however was not. His name was Hritik Roshan and he had major homosexual tendencies. He kept trying to get close to Michael. I would have loved the gay camel had he not scared me every few minutes by coming up so close behind me that I screamed like a mad woman at random intervals. Camels are not pretty creatures. Believe me.

*I met new people. I made new friends.

*I had crushes! After such a long time. I missed that feeling. One was silly, one was intense but short-lived; both were fun while they lasted.

*I feel closer to my mom :)

*I'm just generally more cheerful now than I was in the past. Even when I should be all PMSy.

The good things outweigh the bad so I think it's been a successful year overall. Of course all this positivity might have to do with the fact that I'm in an extremely good mood thanks to plans finally materializing for tomorrow but that doesn't matter. It was a good year. But I'm not sad to see it go. 2010 will be better. Happy New Year!

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

I realized I forgot a title after I published the post but now I'm too lazy to think of one and you'll just have to live with that so there.

This poster on one of the noticeboards at college made me giggle. Yes that's glitter.

P.S. If you squint really hard, you can make out someone's written "Kidding" in pencil at the bottom. I would have been much more mature and just written "NOT!"

Sunday, 8 November 2009

I'm Baaaack

Yeah I know, it's been days since I last blogged. Ok fine months. But I'm here now and isn't that all that matters? Yes it is.

What made me break my spell of laziness was the return of a brand new season of MTV Roadies. The seasons just seem to be piling up don't they? Didn't the last one just end? And I know that I'm supposed to think Roadies is just a pseudo reality show. I probably do think that; I certainly thought it during the last season. But the show is just so bloody entertaining! I'm not ashamed to admit it; I'm a fan.

The premiere of this season wasn't publicized as much for some reason. I would have probably missed it (the horror!) if it hadn't been for my friend reminding me. Apparently the bald twins are out of Roadies this time around. In fact, according to my friend, they may be completely out of MTV itself. She swears she saw one of them on a show on Channel V. Then again she's also the person who stalked the Facebook profile of a cute guy, sent him a friend request which was accepted only to discover that the cute guy turned out to be a cute girl. So I don't know how much I trust her judgement/eyesight/levels of sanity.

Anyway. We watched the show together and kinda absolutely loved it. It has a new format which confused us a lot; not because we're easily confounded (we are) but because at the end of the episode, they didn't seem to have picked any Roadies, the people were merely "short listed". Even then the show was great. It has a whole new feel to it thanks to the absence of Raghu in all his balding angry-not-so-young-man glory. The interviewers were Nikhil and both the Cyruses. Needless to say then that there was a lot less yelling and a lot more laughter. A guy was made to act like a dog and bite five random people on the street while a girl was made to run out into the street screaming her lungs out and force feed strangers soda in a bid to save the world.

I can't wait for the next episode.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

i think i'm dreaming

Dude. I think I'm in some sort of parallel universe.

Why, you ask? Well here's the thing. My internet speed sucks. On an average, I get 7 kbps. That's right. Seven. On a good day it might go up to 9. That's pretty much it. I've grown used to it after 3 years. I've even grown to love it. Imagine my surprise then when I saw the speed go up to 30 kbps today. I was literally left round eyed when it went up to 60. Naturally I was spellbound as it climbed up to 100. And completely flabbergasted at 200. What should I have done then when at one point it reached 500, you read it right five hundred, kbps? Jump with joy? Yell and scream in incredulous delight? Completely lose my head? Been there, done that. So what do I do now? I've already downloaded a few songs and three movies. Three. All in a few hours. I plan to download three more. The speed is now averaging about 180 kbps. Which, for a girl like me who gets excited when her internet speed enters double digits, is ecstatically thrilling.

Right about now, I'm kinda freaking out (in a good way) plus I'm terrified at the prospect of having to shut down my computer at some point. I'm so sure this is just a temporary gift which will be cruelly snatched from my hands the moment I hit Disconnect. But until that moment arrives, full speed ahead! Ooh pun not intended.

P.S. (Click to enlarge and witness my minor miracle)

P.S. Part Two: 400 kbps baby!

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Certifiable Mothers

My mom is slightly insane. Well not insane. But really really bizarre.

Watching T.V. at my house, particularly at night, is never easy. I have my Star World and Zee Cafe while mom has her Star Plus. And because I never relinquish my hold on the remote before 10, she has to resort to pestering me to switch to Star Plus whenever the commercials are on. Fair enough, yes. The other night, however, she demanded that I switch channels right in the middle of a very crucial scene in Bones. "Switch to *whatever show that was on Star Plus at the moment*," she said. "No" I replied. "What? They're just talking na?" she reasoned referring to the actors on Bones. As opposed to all the characters in her serial silently choking to death apparently. I looked at her incredulously and proceeded to explain the whole concept of T.V. shows, all the while insisting that talking plays a very essential role in all of them. I suspect she's so used to the characters bursting into tears for random reasons in her shows that the very idea of dialogue is alien to her.

On another night she proved to me that my laziness is hereditary. She was turning in for the night and I went to the other room to sit online for a bit. As I was switching on the computer, I could dimly hear her calling my name. I went back to the bedroom where she told me that I had accidentally switched off the fan too when I switched off the lights. The fact that she yelled for me for so many minutes instead of just getting up and turning the fan on herself didn't bother me. The fact that she had just been about to dial my cellphone with her cellphone to call me back to the bedroom to turn the fan back on was what I found disturbing.

There are some mothers who think their children spend way too much time on the phone and keep yelling at them to get off it once in a while. Then there are some mothers who barge into the bathroom while their child is trying to shower before college, thrust their child's ringing phone into the child's face screaming at the startled child to pick up the phone and refuse to leave even when the child screams back and swats their hand away and tries to close the door on them. Guess which kind of mother I got?

Aw mom but I love you. And not just because your kookiness is highly amusing and provides me with things to blog about.

Monday, 6 July 2009


I think my house is haunted.

No seriously; I really do. I didn't just write that 'cause it seemed like a cool way to start a post. Well maybe I did. But there's definitely something spooky going on here. I lost my glasses and a pair of jeans and after minutes of frantic searching, they turned up in the most random places. No, I didn't forget where I kept them. My memory, as bad as it is, didn't fail me then. And no, mom didn't move them either. She helped me look.

My first thought was a thief who thought it'd be funny to move my stuff around. I dismissed that notion because it's physically impossible to get into my house after the door is locked. I'd like to see any burglar try. Not that this is an open challenge for all the crooks out there; it's just an expression.

Maybe I walk in my sleep and for some strange reason move my things around. Possible, yeah.

But doesn't "I live in a haunted house" sound so terrifyingly better than "I walk in my sleep"?

Sunday, 5 July 2009

rains and me = a love/hate relationship

You know how in the previous post I went on and on about the glorious virtues of a beautiful rainy day? Well scratch that; rains suck.

Yesterday I came home so completely drenched that I think I redefined the term wet. By the way, windcheaters are the most useless pieces of rainproof devices ever. Not only do they have an absurdly idiotic name, but they don't even try to overcome the stupidity of their names by being good at what they're supposed to do - prevent me from getting soaked!

And have you ever tried walking around with glasses when it's pouring cats and dogs? It's lucky I didn't wander off into the middle of the road and get hit by a truck or something.

I couldn't even take a cab home; no cabbie in his right mind would have allowed the sodden mess that I was anywhere near his precious vehicle. So I was forced to take a crowded bus where people kept glaring at me for dripping water on their otherwise completely dry selves. How is it that everyone else gets to remain dry and I don't!? This one genius thought it was alright to stand behind me and lean his umbrella against the back of my leg. Oh what the heck, he probably figured, she's already wet as it is. But I kicked it back with my shin and scowled at him after which he quickly backed away. Then there were the cars that thought nothing of splashing me merrily as I grumpily walked home from the bus stop. They also probably figured that since I was so wet already, a little more moisture couldn't hurt. Well they thought wrong! But since I couldn't just go and kick the cars, I had to frown and bear it.

However, I did watch Ice Age 3 yesterday and loved it, so I guess the day wasn't a complete waste of energy.

P.S. I kind of pity the weather forecasters but I also want to laugh at them. It's bright and sunny when they scream "heavy rains ahead!" and there's a raging storm every time they reassure citizens that it's gonna be a nice cloudless day. Ha!

Thursday, 2 July 2009

rainy days and gay rights and neopets, oh my!

Beautiful weather today. Rain wasn't a useless drizzle, wasn't a full blown storm - it was just about perfect. And even though my jeans were so loose that I had to pull them up every five minutes and the rain dripped all over my glasses making me temporarily blind and people kept staring me from under their umbrellas, I still walked home from the station after college. Stare at me all you want; I have my radio and I don't care. I couldn't have taken a cab like I usually do; not with weather like this reminding me of hot buttered corn (with lots of masala), steaming cups of coffee and sizzling bhajiyas. Taking a cab home - incomprehensible! All my corn and bhajiya dreams went down the (d)rain though; not one stall was open while it was wet out. In the end I convinced myself to get ice-cream from the cab fare that I saved. Should have gotten Maggi and cheese instead. A friend introduced the concept of hot Maggi noodles with cheese. Delish!

In other news, the Delhi High Court denounced Article 377! How awesome is that! The judges clearly condemned the law and asked people to practice the equality that they preach. They also asked for the Article to be amended and that any sex between consenting adults be legalized. This is fabulous news for homosexuals across the country and for all the gay rights activists. Finally India is taking a step in the right direction, away from its dubious distinction of being included in the homophobic nations list. It won't be long now before the law is scrapped altogether. If there was a smiley for my level of excitement right now, it'd be here. But because I don't know of any such smiley, just pretend I inserted one.

Also, I signed up on Neopets again and I'm slowly getting addicted. The site is so much fun! I know it's primarily for kids but seriously, it's more fun than Facebook (and I won't get tired of saying that).

More on gay rights, addiction news and weather reports later.

P.S. What do you think came first? The fruit or the colour orange?

Monday, 29 June 2009

Must. Update. Blog.

So. Long time no post. Blame it on my lazy gene.


The other day I discovered that running for a train semi-dramatically with a friend which results in the friend getting on the moving train while you're left standing on the platform trying to pretend that nothing happened is supremely embarrassing.

My week also included a ridiculous sitcom moment involving 2 mental friends, me, a dog named Obama (his real name is Kaalu but what kind of a name is Kaalu? I've renamed him so many times that I'm sure he has some sort of an identity crisis but for now it's Obama), a pesky doorbell, lots of screaming, running, hiding, laughing and multiple locked doors. Intrigued?

On a completely different note, I cannot understand how Slumdog Millionaire managed to win an Oscar for Best Movie. Watching it for the second time on T.V. really makes you see the error of your Slumdog loving ways.Someone allegedly cheats on a game show in India and the cops not only beat him up but also attempt to fry him with electricity? You might as well add the stilted Jai Ho song-and-dance sequence randomly in the middle of the movie and make the flick completely Bollywoodesque. Yes I can make words up.

BTW do any of you find it strange that a sponge lives in a pineapple at the bottom of the ocean? With a squid for a neighbour, a crab for a boss and a starfish for a best friend? Just wondering, that's all.

Well ... that's about it. All updated then? Good. Now shoo.

Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.

P.S. 17 days left for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Yay!

Friday, 8 May 2009

Only Slightly Insane

A couple of nights ago, I couldn't sleep. I had just finished reading the Percy Jackson books and couldn't wait to read the last one (it was going to release the next day but stupid thing still hasn't released in India). So anyway, since I couldn't sleep, I started wondering how the series would end. Then I thought about my favourite characters. After that I wondered whether my favourite characters would die. That led me to wondering how they would die, how the others would react to their death and how their ghosts would comfort the people who were still alive. Yeah, I really wasn't getting any sleep. Then I began to construct the exact dialogue one of my favourite characters would use to comfort his friends about his death. And this dialogue was apparently so touching that I began to cry. The crying for the death of a fictional character isn't new. The fact that the fictional character was dead only in my imagination - yeah, kinda new. As if that wasn't enough, I started making my usual connections i.e. thinking about all the other literary characters whose deaths had crushed me. And I began to bawl. Hysterically. At the back of my head I knew I was an utter fool; but that sure as hell didn't stop the tears.

So it isn't enough that I sob like a baby every time someone in the book I'm reading or show I'm watching dies. Now when there is no book available, I'm going to make up my own story, kill off my favourite character and then sob like a baby. Much better no?

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Attack of the Dreaded Virus(es)

I was calmly going about my own computer business yesterday when this McAfee dialog box popped open warning me that a drive was infected. Now I've been skittish ever since some stupid virus attacked my computer a few weeks ago because of which the computer sorta died and had to be brought back to life after a lot of worrying and basically I was just cut off from the online world for a couple of weeks. So naturally I freaked out. Ran a virus scan on the infected drive. Sat back and watched McAfee detect a total of 406 viruses. In one drive. I didn't freak out. I just (calmly) wondered how the computer hadn't exploded with so many viruses in it!

Then came the dealing with the viruses part. For some reason they refused to be cleaned. Just wanted to be zapped into oblivion. And either I can't understand McAfee or it can't understand me because I ended up deleting all 406 viruses manually. One by one by freakin one. I'm sure it has something to do with adjusting the settings and me being technologically challenged; but I'm still blaming McAfee! After all AVG didn't give me this much trouble. Of course my computer died on AVG's watch so it can't get too cocky either.

I really think there's some sort of conspiracy going on. The computer working against me on McAfee's orders. How else do you explain 406 viruses and me having to delete virtually everything? I won't be surprised if McAfee is trying to conquer the world, one computer at a time. If it's evil enough to make me delete every one one the 406 viruses individually, it's evil enough to harbour ambitions of world domination.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

MTV Roadies Finale : Really? That's It?

I just finished watching the finale a while back and it was so ... disappointing. Barely any excitement. Absolutely no entertainment. At one point me and my friend actually looked at each other and said "This is boring!" And that's not a good thing for the Roadies finale to be.

All in all, this entire season was kinda depressing. Lame tasks, a ridiculous assortment of contestants (with the exception of Sufi *drool*) and not really worth the Roadie hype. Now last season was a different story. All the contestants were completely entertaining albeit crazy bitchy. But bitchiness is fun so eh well. The only entertainment provided by the Roadies this time around was in the form of Samrat and the weird constipated sounds he made on a regular basis and Paulomi who stood out in all her Paulomi-ness.

Last season's finale had everyone glued to the TV. It was fun, squirm-inducing and thrilling. This time? Lameness redefined. At first I refused to believe that the finale could actually be so dull. I kept looking out for that sudden twist which would turn the game on its head. Waited and waited until I finally realized - this was it. The grand finale. The lamest, most scripted end in the history of the show. I could easily predict the winner two minutes into the final task. Not that I'm doubting the amount of strength and stamina needed to complete the task; it's just that I can't bring myself to care. The mere difficulty of a task isn't enough - the finale needs entertainment value too! And as much as everyone tried to play up the actual content by hyping it up to be really tough and great; it wasn't. It was STUPID.

What happened to you Roadies? You used to be cool. Remember the ladyboy task thing of last season? Remember the having-to-cover-your-nakedness-with-newspaper-and-a-stapler? What happened to your nipple piercing, iguana kissing, strip quizzing ways? I want to see some girls slapped. I want to see some heads shaved. What I do not want to be told is that James Bond once said "Roadies will be back." Because I very much doubt James Bond would have cared. So stop making stuff up, stop spending money on trips to Australia and just concentrate on getting out of the pit you've dug yourself into.

Monday, 20 April 2009

"I'm gonna make that audience rock!" - Susan Boyle

I know, I know it's a little too late to be jumping on the Susan Boyle bandwagon. But I just saw the video today and I was too blown away not to blog about it. So there.

So who exactly is Susan Boyle? For all those who've been living under a rock, let me enlighten you. Susan is a 47 year old contestant on the reality show "Britains Got Talent" who, by her own admission, has never been married, never been kissed and is currently unemployed. Take a quick look at her and you'll see a pleasantly plump matronly figure with eyebrows bushy enough to put Ashley Olsen to shame. Her ambition of being a professional singer as successful as Elaine Paige produced smirks and eye-rolls from the audience and judges alike. At the beginning of the video, you can make out how everybody's just waiting to pounce on her performance and laugh her off stage.

And then she starts to sing.

At that precise moment, if you listen hard enough, you can just about make out the noise of hundreds of jaws dropping simultaneously. You can see Simon's eyebrows shoot up, you can see Amanda Holden look gobsmacked and you can see Piers Morgan applaud enthusiastically and laugh at the audience's as well as his own assumption that just because Susan doesn't look like a teenage pop queen, all the smirks and eye-rolls were right on target. Because that's when everyone begins to realize that she can sing. Boy can she sing.

And that's around the time the audience starts cheering. Cheering and hooting and clapping and screaming. And as she continues singing, all the cheering and hooting and clapping and screaming just get louder. That's when you see all three judges becoming completely shocked speechless. That's when Piers tries to gulp down his astonishment, Amanda gives multiple standing ovations and Simon just smiles and sighs contentedly. And that's when you tell yourself "Shame on you for being so superficially judgemental."

What makes Susan Boyle so endearing is her humility and her complete lack of knowledge of the fact as to how stupendously talented she really is. She so cutely tries to walk off stage and equally cutely walks back on. And when she gets those three Yes-es from the judges, she is so genuinely surprised and delighted that you can't help but love her even more.

I really hope she wins, that one. And even if she doesn't, judging by all the media attention she's been getting alongwith her tag as the "biggest Youtube sensation"; not to forget her amazing voice - this isn't the last we've heard of Susan Boyle.

P.S. If you haven't watched the video yet, I will have nothing to do with you until you watch it here. Now! Shoo!

Wednesday, 4 March 2009


Ha I find it very amusing when a boy takes another boy to help pick out a gift for his girlfriend. Kind of like the blind leading the blind :P 

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

A Whole New Level of Absurdity

According to a Mumbai Mirror article I read today, Ajmal Amir Kasab, the infamous terrorist captured alive during the 26/11 attacks, has been charged, apart from various other things, for entering the CST platform without a ticket. Yup you heard that right. He has been charged for ticketless travelling. I don't know if I should even comment on this level of absurdity. Oh what the heck.  What ridiculousness is this? What sort of madness has struck the officials!? No, no, ticketless travelling? Seriously? And apparently if convicted, he faces either imprisonment of up to 6 months or a fine of up to Rs. 1000 or both. Ooooh scary huh? Idiots. 

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Birthday Blues?

This morning I randomly looked at the calendar and realized that it's my birthday in two weeks. I'll be turning 19 - such a pointless age. And I'm oh-so-sure that the day is gonna suck. Call it woman's intuition or just plain knowledge of circumstances, but I know that it's gonna be so lame that lameness is about to be redefined. A pointless birthday for a pointless age. Blah. Ah, the post just sounds depressing, yeah? It's not all bad. I'm very excited about the loads of shopping I'll get to do with my birthday as an excuse. And I'm sure retail therapy is gonna work wonders for the lack of everything else. So yay. 

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Damn you Movie Gods!

I should never make movie plans. Seriously. The Movie Gods are pissed off at me. Or they just have a really weird sense of humour. The last time I made plans, one friend mysteriously fell ill while another suddenly realized she had to rectify an error on her PAN Card form. This time around, the theater suddenly changed the timing of the movie we desperately wanted to watch which made all our careful planning go awry. And then when I called the theater to confirm the matinée show ticket prices (hello, broke college students here!), I was put on hold for five minutes. I disconnected 'cause the music became really annoying. And I'd bunked a lecture too when I desperately need all the attendance I can get.

But no problem. There's always tomorrow right? The eleven o'clock show of The President is Coming it is. Unless of course the gods decide otherwise.

Edit: Here I sit, a month later, and I still haven't watched the film. The Movie Gods have won this time. But it's the last time they do! (I hope)

Friday, 2 January 2009

Happy New Year!

I know, I'm a day late and really behind on my posts; but I've been busy and well... lazy. So yeah. Anyway, have a great and better-than-2008 2009.

That's it. Go on then. Shoo.