Sunday, 14 February 2010

Will and Won't

Last week we called for a couple of chicken dishes from the restaurant we usually order from. The delivery boy who brought us our dishes was new and he'd spilled the contents a bit and made it messy. Mom threw a fit. She demanded to know how he could be so careless and then went on to tell him not to deliver here again. She told me this when we were sitting to eat. Now this might sound silly but I felt so terrible. I sulked at mom for half an hour because I thought she had been horribly rude. I kept grumbling about how bad that boy must have felt; on the first day of his job no less. I also demanded to know how she could go crazy over something so trivial. Then I pointed out how even she makes stupid mistakes and how nobody makes a fuss about that (Well fine, I do but I was just all round grumpy then OK?). The phrase put-yourself-in-his-shoes was thrown around a lot. By the end of it, I think she could have cheerfully choked me .

Anyway. This nice little story does have a point. I got round to thinking how I can be rude so often. Rude to people I know and even to those I don't. Unintentionally, but it does happen. This little waiter boy incident made me want to be a nicer person than I usually am. Don't get me wrong. I'm generally a very nice person. But sometimes my desire for entertainment and amusement makes me forget my desire to be nice. So I've made this list which hopefully covers all those areas in which I need improvement.

(1) If a stranger falls, trips down a flight of stairs, walks into a wall, bangs his head against a pole or otherwise physically embarrasses himself, I will not burst out laughing and then pretend I'm laughing at something a friend said. I will make sure he's all right and then move on.

(2) If someone I know does any of the above, I will help them up, yell at anyone who giggles and glare at everyone around me daring them to find humour in the clearly humourless situation. I will not start laughing so hard that I have to lean against a wall for support. Nor will I mock them by demonstrating the accident in a hugely exaggerated manner.

(3) If I see a woman who looks like a man in women's clothing, I will not smirk or giggle mentally. She has enough troubles as it is; she needs sympathy not laughter.

(4) If a friend accidentally inhales her nose-ring in the middle of a lecture, I will be very concerned, ask her whether she's all right and then tell her to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I will not start laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. When the panic-stricken friend asks me whether she's going to die, I will not say yes. I will also not ask her if I can have her clothes when she's dead.

(5) I will not harbour hopes of having a gay best friend. The sole purpose of a gay man's life is not to meet and befriend me.

(6) My life's ambition will not be having a gay son. My children will be free to choose their own sexual orientation. I will not be disappointed if my son decides he's straight. Conversely, he won't be my favourite if he decides he isn't. Mothers are supposed to love all their children equally.

Yes, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more things eventually.

P.S. Roadies today! Yay!

5 comments:

Tanuj Lakhina said...

Bwahaha!! Am sure you can do only the last two things on the list but not the others. Lol. You will always laugh if someone falls stupidly. And just so you know you aren't rude at all. Well sometimes maybe but then who isn't?

Last week we called for a couple of chicken dishes from the restaurant we usually order from. The delivery boy who brought us our dishes was new and he'd spilled the contents a bit and made it messy. Mom threw a fit. She demanded to know how he could be so careless and then went on to tell him not to deliver here again. She told me this when we were sitting to eat. Now this might sound silly but I felt so terrible. I sulked at mom for half an hour because I thought she had been horribly rude. I kept grumbling about how bad that boy must have felt; on the first day of his job no less. I also demanded to know how she could go crazy over something so trivial. Then I pointed out how even she makes stupid mistakes and how nobody makes a fuss about that (Well fine, I do but I was just all round grumpy then OK?). The phrase put-yourself-in-his-shoes was thrown around a lot. By the end of it, I think she could have cheerfully choked me .

Anyway. This nice little story does have a point. I got round to thinking how I can be rude so often. Rude to people I know and even to those I don't. Unintentionally, but it does happen. This little waiter boy incident made me want to be a nicer person than I usually am. Don't get me wrong. I'm generally a very nice person. But sometimes my desire for entertainment and amusement makes me forget my desire to be nice. So I've made this list which hopefully covers all those areas in which I need improvement.

(1) If a stranger falls, trips down a flight of stairs, walks into a wall, bangs his head against a pole or otherwise physically embarrasses himself, I will not burst out laughing and then pretend I'm laughing at something a friend said. I will make sure he's all right and then move on.

(2) If someone I know does any of the above, I will help them up, yell at anyone who giggles and glare at everyone around me daring them to find humour in the clearly humourless situation. I will not start laughing so hard that I have to lean against a wall for support. Nor will I mock them by demonstrating the accident in a hugely exaggerated manner.

(3) If I see a woman who looks like a man in women's clothing, I will not smirk or giggle mentally. She has enough troubles as it is; she needs sympathy not laughter.

(4) If a friend accidentally inhales her nose-ring in the middle of a lecture, I will be very concerned, ask her whether she's all right and then tell her to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I will not start laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. When the panic-stricken friend asks me whether she's going to die, I will not say yes. I will also not ask her if I can have her clothes when she's dead.

(5) I will not harbour hopes of having a gay best friend. The sole purpose of a gay man's life is not to meet and befriend me.

(6) My life's ambition will not be having a gay son. My children will be free to choose their own sexual orientation. I will not be disappointed if my son decides he's straight. Conversely, he won't be my favourite if he decides he isn't. Mothers are supposed to love all their children equally.

Yes, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more things eventually.

P.S. Roadies today! Yay!

tin girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tin girl said...

I dig yer blog mate.
Esp the gay bud part.
We might just have friggin' LOADS in common. 0.o
See you at my blog then?

Last week we called for a couple of chicken dishes from the restaurant we usually order from. The delivery boy who brought us our dishes was new and he'd spilled the contents a bit and made it messy. Mom threw a fit. She demanded to know how he could be so careless and then went on to tell him not to deliver here again. She told me this when we were sitting to eat. Now this might sound silly but I felt so terrible. I sulked at mom for half an hour because I thought she had been horribly rude. I kept grumbling about how bad that boy must have felt; on the first day of his job no less. I also demanded to know how she could go crazy over something so trivial. Then I pointed out how even she makes stupid mistakes and how nobody makes a fuss about that (Well fine, I do but I was just all round grumpy then OK?). The phrase put-yourself-in-his-shoes was thrown around a lot. By the end of it, I think she could have cheerfully choked me .

Anyway. This nice little story does have a point. I got round to thinking how I can be rude so often. Rude to people I know and even to those I don't. Unintentionally, but it does happen. This little waiter boy incident made me want to be a nicer person than I usually am. Don't get me wrong. I'm generally a very nice person. But sometimes my desire for entertainment and amusement makes me forget my desire to be nice. So I've made this list which hopefully covers all those areas in which I need improvement.

(1) If a stranger falls, trips down a flight of stairs, walks into a wall, bangs his head against a pole or otherwise physically embarrasses himself, I will not burst out laughing and then pretend I'm laughing at something a friend said. I will make sure he's all right and then move on.

(2) If someone I know does any of the above, I will help them up, yell at anyone who giggles and glare at everyone around me daring them to find humour in the clearly humourless situation. I will not start laughing so hard that I have to lean against a wall for support. Nor will I mock them by demonstrating the accident in a hugely exaggerated manner.

(3) If I see a woman who looks like a man in women's clothing, I will not smirk or giggle mentally. She has enough troubles as it is; she needs sympathy not laughter.

(4) If a friend accidentally inhales her nose-ring in the middle of a lecture, I will be very concerned, ask her whether she's all right and then tell her to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I will not start laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. When the panic-stricken friend asks me whether she's going to die, I will not say yes. I will also not ask her if I can have her clothes when she's dead.

(5) I will not harbour hopes of having a gay best friend. The sole purpose of a gay man's life is not to meet and befriend me.

(6) My life's ambition will not be having a gay son. My children will be free to choose their own sexual orientation. I will not be disappointed if my son decides he's straight. Conversely, he won't be my favourite if he decides he isn't. Mothers are supposed to love all their children equally.

Yes, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more things eventually.

P.S. Roadies today! Yay!

Lavender said...

Hahahaha Para bloody shade you are!!
(4) had me in splits.
Can u add- Not laugh at my friends serious theories about how powerless she feels when she cannot have an 'effect' :P

Last week we called for a couple of chicken dishes from the restaurant we usually order from. The delivery boy who brought us our dishes was new and he'd spilled the contents a bit and made it messy. Mom threw a fit. She demanded to know how he could be so careless and then went on to tell him not to deliver here again. She told me this when we were sitting to eat. Now this might sound silly but I felt so terrible. I sulked at mom for half an hour because I thought she had been horribly rude. I kept grumbling about how bad that boy must have felt; on the first day of his job no less. I also demanded to know how she could go crazy over something so trivial. Then I pointed out how even she makes stupid mistakes and how nobody makes a fuss about that (Well fine, I do but I was just all round grumpy then OK?). The phrase put-yourself-in-his-shoes was thrown around a lot. By the end of it, I think she could have cheerfully choked me .

Anyway. This nice little story does have a point. I got round to thinking how I can be rude so often. Rude to people I know and even to those I don't. Unintentionally, but it does happen. This little waiter boy incident made me want to be a nicer person than I usually am. Don't get me wrong. I'm generally a very nice person. But sometimes my desire for entertainment and amusement makes me forget my desire to be nice. So I've made this list which hopefully covers all those areas in which I need improvement.

(1) If a stranger falls, trips down a flight of stairs, walks into a wall, bangs his head against a pole or otherwise physically embarrasses himself, I will not burst out laughing and then pretend I'm laughing at something a friend said. I will make sure he's all right and then move on.

(2) If someone I know does any of the above, I will help them up, yell at anyone who giggles and glare at everyone around me daring them to find humour in the clearly humourless situation. I will not start laughing so hard that I have to lean against a wall for support. Nor will I mock them by demonstrating the accident in a hugely exaggerated manner.

(3) If I see a woman who looks like a man in women's clothing, I will not smirk or giggle mentally. She has enough troubles as it is; she needs sympathy not laughter.

(4) If a friend accidentally inhales her nose-ring in the middle of a lecture, I will be very concerned, ask her whether she's all right and then tell her to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I will not start laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. When the panic-stricken friend asks me whether she's going to die, I will not say yes. I will also not ask her if I can have her clothes when she's dead.

(5) I will not harbour hopes of having a gay best friend. The sole purpose of a gay man's life is not to meet and befriend me.

(6) My life's ambition will not be having a gay son. My children will be free to choose their own sexual orientation. I will not be disappointed if my son decides he's straight. Conversely, he won't be my favourite if he decides he isn't. Mothers are supposed to love all their children equally.

Yes, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more things eventually.

P.S. Roadies today! Yay!

Parinita said...

Tanuj I fail at keeping up my very good intentioned resolutions :(

Thanks tin girl! See you at your blog ^.^

Raja that laughter is very much justified thankyouverymuch!

Last week we called for a couple of chicken dishes from the restaurant we usually order from. The delivery boy who brought us our dishes was new and he'd spilled the contents a bit and made it messy. Mom threw a fit. She demanded to know how he could be so careless and then went on to tell him not to deliver here again. She told me this when we were sitting to eat. Now this might sound silly but I felt so terrible. I sulked at mom for half an hour because I thought she had been horribly rude. I kept grumbling about how bad that boy must have felt; on the first day of his job no less. I also demanded to know how she could go crazy over something so trivial. Then I pointed out how even she makes stupid mistakes and how nobody makes a fuss about that (Well fine, I do but I was just all round grumpy then OK?). The phrase put-yourself-in-his-shoes was thrown around a lot. By the end of it, I think she could have cheerfully choked me .

Anyway. This nice little story does have a point. I got round to thinking how I can be rude so often. Rude to people I know and even to those I don't. Unintentionally, but it does happen. This little waiter boy incident made me want to be a nicer person than I usually am. Don't get me wrong. I'm generally a very nice person. But sometimes my desire for entertainment and amusement makes me forget my desire to be nice. So I've made this list which hopefully covers all those areas in which I need improvement.

(1) If a stranger falls, trips down a flight of stairs, walks into a wall, bangs his head against a pole or otherwise physically embarrasses himself, I will not burst out laughing and then pretend I'm laughing at something a friend said. I will make sure he's all right and then move on.

(2) If someone I know does any of the above, I will help them up, yell at anyone who giggles and glare at everyone around me daring them to find humour in the clearly humourless situation. I will not start laughing so hard that I have to lean against a wall for support. Nor will I mock them by demonstrating the accident in a hugely exaggerated manner.

(3) If I see a woman who looks like a man in women's clothing, I will not smirk or giggle mentally. She has enough troubles as it is; she needs sympathy not laughter.

(4) If a friend accidentally inhales her nose-ring in the middle of a lecture, I will be very concerned, ask her whether she's all right and then tell her to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I will not start laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. When the panic-stricken friend asks me whether she's going to die, I will not say yes. I will also not ask her if I can have her clothes when she's dead.

(5) I will not harbour hopes of having a gay best friend. The sole purpose of a gay man's life is not to meet and befriend me.

(6) My life's ambition will not be having a gay son. My children will be free to choose their own sexual orientation. I will not be disappointed if my son decides he's straight. Conversely, he won't be my favourite if he decides he isn't. Mothers are supposed to love all their children equally.

Yes, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more things eventually.

P.S. Roadies today! Yay!